Soon after we got here I met a woman from the states who lives nearby. “I get to travel home for about a week every month. And thank God because if I didn’t return to civilization once in a while I would lose my mind!” she told me. My first gut reaction was to be offended. I love this island & how dare she imply it isn’t civilized!? Now 8 months later, I realize she was not criticizing this country I love, but being a Jersey girl like me, this island and how it operates is a sharp contrast to what we are used to. Compared to many other Caribbean islands (maybe even most of them), this island is one of the most modern, most advanced. After all this island’s infrastructure, being a British commonwealth,  was built fit for a queen. There are many luxurious resorts here that will have you feeling like a queen actually. But day in & day out living here means work, school, food shopping, chores, errands, paying bills, traffic etc and its in daily life that we see  how very differently society here functions as opposed to our efficient fast paced lifestyle in the US. In many ways this disparity is refreshing. And in other ways it can be utterly frustrating. In the spirit of full disclosure and because this blog is about honest sharing,  I’d like to point out the latter of the two.

The most obvious vexing situation here appears when behind the wheel of your car. The roads are old, narrow and, due to the suffering economy, in desperate need of repaving. Add to the decaying structure of the asphalt many white mini vans, serving as taxis, that stop any and everywhere to pick people up. These Zed-Rs can’t & won’t pull over so traffic can move. Some drive dangerously aggressive and others crawl down the street backing up traffic for a mile. I have found that driving on the left side of the road & having the wheel, directional, & windshield wipers switch sides is easy. But getting used to “how” some people drive here is much more difficult. Living on the south coast means lots of traffic every morning, evening and many times in-between. I do appreciate their strict pedestrian crossing rules but having a cross walk in the middle of a round-a-bout ON a highway is just nuts! Several weeks ago we found ourselves stuck in traffic at 7:30pm, hungry after hours of surfing, and super antsy to get home. I always drive here but on this particular night Dan drove. Once we finally crawled our way to the origin of the traffic we were irritated to learn it was from people turning into the KFC! Even the car in front of us could easily have pulled up 10-15 feet into the driveway of the KFC so that we could pass. He refused. We beeped the horn. No forward motion. Dan attempted to go around him when he saw an opening but his anger blinded his judgement and he ended up slightly scratching the stopped car’s side bumper. We stopped, Dan & the other driver got out to assess the “damage”. This was a tiny bump, no dent just some scratched paint so I suggested to the driver’s wife in the backseat that we pull up into the parking lot to sort it out. It seems a reasonable suggestion especially since we were now blocking both lanes and cars were resorting to driving on crowded sidewalks to get by us. The wife’s eyes widened in shock and she shouted at me with complete contempt, “Are you crazy?! That’s illegal!! We are going to stay right here and wait for the police.” So there we sat, shutting down a major busy road, for 1 hour, due to scratched paint. But she was correct. Its apparently against the law to move a vehicle involved in any kind of car accident. The police eventually came, wrote down what happened, and didn’t even ask for driver’s licenses. This was a good lesson in digging deeper for patience. And a good lesson in acceptance. Acceptance that some people are terrible drivers and some laws make no sense.  I will give credit where it is due though …. if you are ever lost driving here you can count on lots of help from locals.

Anyone who has lived abroad knows that eating can sometimes be a challenge. (Well except Italy. Eating in Italy is easy 🙂 If you are a foodie and are quite particular about what you eat, I wouldn’t recommend ever moving to a Caribbean island. As I mentioned earlier, this is one of the most “civilized” islands. However going to the grocery stores has brought me to tears. I drive 20 minutes to go to the “big” grocery store. Sometimes they don’t have any oranges or berries that day. Sometimes the only lunch meat available is a $20 package of smoked ham. There may only be 3 or 4 brands of yogurt as opposed to our 30 brands. There was a 2 week period when you couldn’t get a lime or lemon on the island because a boat carrying citrus broke down. I have a “tiny” lemon addiction & I nearly lost it during this period! The meats at the grocery store, other than chicken, look really undesirable to me. I’ve heard there is a marvelous butcher where you can go and order your meats and then pick them up a week later. But this butcher is 45 minutes away & I just can’t. We have enjoyed the fresh fish and having a fish market minutes from our home means we cook fish several times a week. I’ve been told to get up early and go to one of the farmers markets. I’ve found better local produce at the markets but I really miss one stop shopping. It also takes some time to get used to the food prices here. Realizing most everything has to be shipped in its easy to justify the cost. But it still hurts! We have been in the rare & fortunate position to have some favorite/can’t live without nonperishable foods brought in on a regular basis by the pilot husband. When he arrives & we open his bag to find our granola, peanut butter, tea, granola bars… its like Christmas morning!  An unusual perk but one I cannot imagine not having had this year. Make no mistake, there are a plethora of fancy restaurants where we’ve had some excellent meals. (Don’t ask me how their chefs pull off their culinary masterpieces because I have struggled to even make a decent turkey sandwich.) We have tried most of the local food too & are psyched to have discovered new foods we love. We go out to eat a lot because sometimes I just cannot figure out how to make dinner.  In short, we are SO spoiled in the states with the variety of food we have access to. Cross my heart hope to die I solemnly swear to never complain about my grocery store back home ever again!

The term “tico time” may commonly be used to describe the unhurried, nonchalant attitudes of Costa Ricans but in reality this entire region of the world seems to be on tico time.  The pace here is so relaxed. I just love it. Until I don’t. Its such a nice change of pace when you’re on vacation, no rush to get anywhere or do anything, and during those times nobody cares about slow service, slow drivers, slow walkers, slow talkers, slow everything. But every once in a while, when you live here, the jersey comes out! Its my personal belief that the heat plays a large role in the sluggish tempo. I myself have operated at a fraction of the pace I normally do. Sometimes its so damn hot all your body wants to do is sit! There are inefficiencies here that boggle the mind. Its just part of the deal. In general I will just say this: If you are a type A personality, find a different place to retire. I am definitely more of a type B and my husband is a super relaxed type B so this has worked in our favor. But we have had some type A visitors and its been sorta fun to watch them become unhinged here.

Adapting to another country takes time and patience. Adapting to an island can be particularly challenging because there is a degree of isolation you feel at times. I know of others who have lived for periods of time on other islands in the world and they have expressed the same. “Island Fever” happens and it took me some time to put a name to it. But its a legit phenomena, just google it.  I am thankful for all the opportunities my family had to fly back home and the trips we were able to take away from the island. There is no perfect place. No perfect town, city, state, country. But when you weigh all the positives against all of the negatives here…. the positives win by a landslide. The near-perfect weather every day, the gorgeous sea, the surfing, the relaxed vibe, the stunning flowers, the kind people  – these things make some of the frustrations TOTALLY worth it.

 

But like Dorothy said …. there’s no place like home. My family adapts well & made this place our home pretty fast. But home home, real home is calling us back.